Sunday, 24 November 2013
Someday you'll realize...
Someday you'll realize...
Much you cared about her
And how amazing she really
Was . And when that day comes
She'll be walking with the
Guy who already Knew .
Saturday, 23 November 2013
He Fired his secretery.
Why I fired my secretary:
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."
I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!"
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"
We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two Martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?"
I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
"Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."
"Okay," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake.
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy birthday".
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
Sobbing...
Naked...
and erect....
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."
I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!"
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"
We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two Martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?"
I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
"Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."
"Okay," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake.
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy birthday".
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
Sobbing...
Naked...
and erect....
How it feels....
A wife was making a breakfast of fried
eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband came into the
kitchen.
"Careful," he said,
"CAREFUL! Put in
some more butter!
Oh my GOD! You're
cooking too many at once. TOO MANY!
Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter.
Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get
MORE BUTTER?
They're going 2 STICK! Careful..
CAREFUL!
I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're
cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!
Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your
mind?
Don't forget to salt them. You know you
always forget that. Use the salt. USE THE
SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What is wrong
with you? You think I don't know how
to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just
wanted to show you what it feels like
when I'm driving."
eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband came into the
kitchen.
"Careful," he said,
"CAREFUL! Put in
some more butter!
Oh my GOD! You're
cooking too many at once. TOO MANY!
Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter.
Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get
MORE BUTTER?
They're going 2 STICK! Careful..
CAREFUL!
I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're
cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!
Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your
mind?
Don't forget to salt them. You know you
always forget that. Use the salt. USE THE
SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What is wrong
with you? You think I don't know how
to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just
wanted to show you what it feels like
when I'm driving."
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